Fan

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Why Men Leave - (Common Reasons Why Men Leave Relationships )

There are many different reasons why men leave relationships or refuse to settle down with the woman they are with. Its important for women to take a good look auto insurance quotes these reasons. To their surprise and delight, they will discover that most of the reasons why men leave have nothing to do with them.
Some men cling to the ghost of past relationships, idealizing an old love and deciding they'll never find a person like that again. It feels safer to hold onto the past than risk failure with someone who is available today.

These men prefer to dwell in a memory than to face the reality of present day life.
For some, this memory goes back to their mothers. No woman can live up to mom, or to any other woman they idealize. They begin to imagine that these other women were perfect and gave them unconditional love. Whatever their present girlfriend does is compared with that. No woman can win over an idealized memory. These men are living in dreams.

Other men leave seeking excitement and challenge. Being with someone who loves them becomes boring and flat. After years of dating beautiful women who adored him education loan consolidation for whom he felt little, Frederick, a handsome, articulate architect, in his late thirties, finally fell in love. It was a tumultuous situation, however.

"I was in love with Fern for three years, he said. "But I left her three times and each time she came back, wanting me again. No other woman had done that before. Fern was very neurotic. I guess thats what attracted me.

Some men find the lack of stability in a woman to be challenging, exciting and erotic. The unpredictability creates a situation where there is a constant sense of danger and threat of loss. This keeps these men constantly on the alert, so things never become routine. Excitement is confused with passion. There is a sense that, because of the turmoil, they are finally alive. After awhile it usually becomes too much. "I finally left Fern and never went back, Frederick said. It became too exhausting in the long run.

When men are attracted to neurotic women, it is interesting to note that these men are often attracting a partner who is expressing what he is also going through inside. She may be acting out
what he is feeling and not able to express. When he finally becomes angry with the woman, he is really angry with himself. What we cannot accept in another is always something we haven't been able to accept in ourselves.

Other stresses also cause men to leave relationships. When a man is unhappy at his job, or when he feels pressured to commit, before he is ready, old dreams that havent been fulfilled will come up to haunt him. He then will begin to feel that this is the time to live out these dreams. These men often feel justified in abruptly leave unsatisfying relationships in search of their fantasies and dreams.

When Renee, handsome, strong, the successful owner of a well know beauty salon left for a new woman he said, No one leaves if they're happy. After awhile you just begin to feel time is running out and you get tired of the bad stuff. You feel you don't need it anymore. You paid your dues. You're tired."

When asked why he felt the attraction to a different woman, he said, Part of it is just plain beauty. But also she was much younger. I like that. A young woman looks up to a guy because he's older and can do all these things for her, and he adores her because she's young, pretty and makes him look good and feel good and proud."

Implicit in this is a deep need men have to be looked up to, valued, respected and recognized, not only by his peers, but by the woman he's with. Especially at a time in marijuana addiction when a man's sense of
himself is wavering, it is extremely uplifting to have a woman who looks up to him and what he has achieved. Unfortunately,at this point, some wives of long standing can only see their mans deficits. If they then remind him of his failings constantly, it's often more than his ego can bear.

Though there are many more factors contributing to men leaving relationships, a common theme appears through all of them. The men are not necessarily responding to the woman they
are leaving, but to their own inner needs, conflicts and dreams. Often they experience the woman in their lives simply as a part of their own sense of self. It is not the woman herself who necessarily causes the man to leave, but the man's feelings about himself, his own inner fantasy and quest.

Cc/2006/author

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hear men tell you in their own words why they leave relationships and what makes a relationship work for them. This eye-opening book on modern relationships - Why Men Leave whymenleavewhymenleave offers a real understanding of men. It will change the way women think about men and about what goes on in relationships. It is written by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist, relationship expert, workshop leader and author of many books, including The Anger Diet and Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster),Contact her at mailto: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo. Her personal website is: brendashoshannabrendashoshanna Go to: whymenleavewhymenleave to get your copy right now.

Home Storage Ideas For Every Home

A Place for Everything
Tired of closets overflowing, and piles and stacks of "stuff" everywhere? It's not that you're messy. You've just run out of storage space.

Built in storage is often limited by the floor plan of your home. If your house was designed by a male, that could mean a serious deficiency in closets and shelving. All is not lost. Just look for ways to add storage in unobvious places.

In the living room, instead of typical end tables, another type of flat surface will do double duty. How about a square or cylinder shaped hassock with a removable top? These practical alternatives become the perfect spot to stash off season decorations, or an extra afghan and pillows. A simple round table covered with a floor length skirt adds home mortgage refinance rates to your room dcor as well as a clever hiding place for DVDs.

In front of the sofa, why use a coffee table when a trunk provides ideal storage for games, photo albums or books. The solid shape acts as a visual anchor for your area rug. A natural jute or bamboo rug below a weathered trunk creates a South Seas flavor for your dcor. The rugged trunk surface is also a forgiving perch to prop up your feet.

Moving to the dining room, where do you store those lovely plates used only for special occasions? Why not store them in mortgage home refinance site? If space limitations do not allow for a china cabinet, create an arrangement of plates on the wall using plate hangers or shallow grooved shelves. You can enjoy your china's beauty and make every day a special occasion. For those times when the plates are in use on the dining table, bring out a framed picture from another room to hang in their place or drape fabric on the wall that coordinates with your area rug to create the illusion of a window.

Bedrooms can easily become collect-all spots. It's where you stash things when guests are coming over. Instead of tossing items into the closet or under the bed, invest in practical storage containers designed to slide below the bed. Off season clothes and shoes mesothelioma prognosis clean and organized. The foot of the bed is another spot to collect clutter. Park a bench at the end of the bed with storage below the seat, or a portable oversized basket with a lid that you can easily whisk through the house before guests arrive.

Don't forget the small rooms in your house to maximize storage. A cabinet or series of shelves above the commode in the bathroom lets you stash away the collection of bottles and jars from your sink top. If towel storage is at a premium, roll up some towels and place them in a decorative basket by the sink or tub. Coordinate your towel colors with a cotton area rug for a decorative look.

Consider areas behind doors as prime storage space. Hooks and door hinge mounted towel bars catch coats, gloves and an assortment of scarves. Hang small baskets securely on the wall next to entry doors for last minute items, such as keys and cell phones, you'll need on the way out the door.

Even decorative accessories can have a dual purpose. A floor vase holding silk flower stems can also secure napkin rings, bracelets or holiday decorations. A lidded soup terrine gracing the dining table can be filled with napkins and serving utensils. Create your own storage containers by wrapping shoe boxes in woven sea grass mats that are pretty enough to leave in the open. Build a stack of boxes next to a chair for an unexpected side table full of storage.

When you shop for new furniture pieces, keep in mind their storage possibilities as well as their obvious function. Storage space is everywhere in your home when you begin to notice it. Remember to make yourself an alphabetized list of the things you've stashed in out of the way places. You'll be well organized and finally have a place for everything.

Sarah Crosset has worked in the interior decorating field for many years. And once you have your sorted out your storage her next tip is to houseofarearugsbuy area rugs Try a houseofarearugsBrown-Rugs-p-1-c-32brown area rug for a warm, modern feel.